Does anybody else get a little nervous when pumping their own gas and paying outside (the opposite of inside) and the machine says REMOVE CARD QUICKLY? I get a little nervous. How does the machine measure “quickly”? And what happens if you don’t do it right?
I’ve developed three pretty effective methods at “removing card quickly” so, if you’re ever in this situation, you might want to try one:
- Lightening speed. This is when you stick your debit or credit card in the slot and before the message to Remove Card Quickly even pops up you yank that thing out of there like your hand’s on fire.
- The Count-To-Three Method: This is for when you’re feeling a little saucy. Put your card in, wait for the message, and then make the MACHINE wait. I usually only get to “3” because I’m afraid the machine will eat my card and spit it in my face. This is an advanced method. Use with caution.
- The-Kinda-Slow-But-Not-Too-Slow Method: To do this, you need a steady hand. Put your card in the slot and then pull it out just face enough to let your watch glint in the sun, but not slow enough to blind someone.
That’s it! Those are my tips for removing your card quickly. Stay tuned for the next issue when we’ll be talking about BLIND KIDS PLAYING signs.